Confessions and Blonde-ness

I’m a fantastic driver. No, really. I am.

Just sometimes, I tend not to see some things and then problems happen. This not seeing thing usually tends to happen when I’m in a rush or more than likely, when I’m blaring music in the car and going full speed on an abandoned road (with no clue as to where I’m going)

Like a couple weeks ago for instance.

And this is where the whole confession thing comes to play.

So, I was sent on an errand to some random place that thankfully, I knew the street of so all I had to do was input that into my gps on my phone. Off I went on my merry way – very cheerfully by the way.

Unfortunately, when I was done, I realized that I had no clue how to get back from where I was. See, I had been at someone else’s house (a complete stranger) when I set off and I never bothered to check the street the house was on when I left.

Thus, I had to rely on my mind which currently was panicking due to the many turns it remembered doing on the way to get to where I was. It wasn’t that fun.

Eventually I somehow by the grace of all that is holy managed to get somewhat near and so blared my music really loud and started speeding a tad bit. I was confident. And I was majorly patting my own shoulder for having such a great memory. I even started singing off key in loud exuberant joy. It was great.

Until, I realized I had passed the street I was supposed to turn on. But, no problem, I hadn’t gone too far so I could just reverse, right? No one was coming, so there wouldn’t be a problem.

So I put the car in reverse, and turned the wheel a bit so that I could pull back and turn forward when I got close enough.

All was going fine and I was still singing, until I heard the loudest CRACK! I’ve ever heard, the loudest THUMP! I’ve ever heard, and the biggest jolt forward my body has ever received.

Two words, guys. Two words erupted from my mouth.

“FUCK ME!!!!!”

Now, any one of my friends would probably have panicked hard core, but not I. NOT I.

I stuck my head out the window, looked back and saw half a wooden pole-like thing sticking up. I then looked down. I saw the other half, giant sign and all, laying on the ground next to the jagged wood stump. Shit!!!!!

I did not panic though, like I said. I very simply put the car in drive and drove forward onto the street I needed to go on. I also turned the radio off and drove much slower and made it to my destination.

*hangs head* Yes, I ran. Sure, if it had been anything else other than some pointless dead-end sign, then I’d probably take responsibility for it… But it wasn’t… So I left it there.

That’s confession number one.

 

Confusion number two is, I’m pretty sure that the R and M incident from earlier ultimately led to their split up a week ago.

Oops.

Well, she was psycho, anyways. So he and I both agree that he’s better without her, however harsh that seems.

 

And confession number three involves buying even more throwing knives that my mother has repeatedly expressed a strong dislike for, It’s a pity though (for both of us), that the place I go has really great quality stuff and a great variety of things along with amazing prices to boot. I can’t help but fork over the monies.

SERIOUSLY, throwing cards! Like cards that have sharpened edges all along the sides that you can throw as if they were regular throwing knives. I feel like the Joker whenever I chuck them at something. I’m going back soon to get the batarangs…  then I can impersonate Batman as well.

Eventually, I’ll buy some of their swords as well. Maybe a tazer too.

 

And now for the blonde-ness.

So I’m still friends with my ex’s best friend – at least on facebook and stuff. (Bahaha). And a couple days ago, he posted a set of pictures featuring my ex and his friends at some hair place getting their hair dyed.

Then came the photos of their dyed hair.

Platinum blonde. Not just blonde, but hard core bleached blonde hair.

Oh. My. Gawd.

I died laughing. I nearly peed myself too.

It was the most horrendous, crime to humanity, fashion disaster I’ve ever seen. They all went from dark hair to paleness that just…it made them soooooooo ugly. I’ll admit that the little devil in me gleefully snickered in evil satisfaction. HAHAHAHA.

It made my day.

What idiots.

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Posted on August 11, 2014, in Miko's Corner, My Blog and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. *let’s out a sigh of relief* For a second I thought you accidentally ran over someone, which as a new driver, is my number one fear.

    I love driving and I think I’m great at it, but for the last sixteen years I haven’t paid any attention whatsoever to the roads around me, so once I get outside my neighborhood I have no idea where to go.

    • For a split nano second, the thought crossed my mind. Then I realized there was no way anyone was anywhere close and I was so relieved. My number one fear is still running over a kid. I’ve seen so many close calls with my friends driving, because those little buggers seem to ENJOY running into the street out of the blue. I swear my heart has stopped so many times/

      I walked to many places and rode buses or hitched rides from people so much before I started driving, so that wasn’t too much of a problem.. TRY NOT TO GET LOST ON A HIGHWAY….ISH NO FUN.

  2. GPS? That is a wimp tool. 😛 Just kidding. It’s mostly one I don’t know how to use.
    That is crazy. (Seriously, I would have just checked the street, made a three point turn using someone’s driveway, and head off again.) I swore off u-turns after freaking my mom out at one point. 😛

  3. Okay, sorry, the laughing has stopped, and I’m breathing again. So, I’ve been reading through your posts in order (reverse-order, I guess), and a little while past this one, I ran into one of your college posts, where you mention you’re majoring in Criminology.

    And I flashed back to the future criminologist fleeing the scene of a sign-murder. And then the giggles started. And wouldn’t stop. Too perfect. Too, too perfect.

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