Risky Clientele

“What… what are you doing?”

“Just close your eyes and relax. Yes, like that. Both of them.”

With great reluctance the blonde finally settles in my arms and I quickly prepare myself once more to what was about to occur. Years of doing this and it never gets any easier. Except, of course, when my clients happen to be attractive. As this was not the case, it was a bit more difficult on my part to get motivated.

Money is great help when it comes to that.

“What are you going to do?”

“Don’t worry, just keep your eyes close. Don’t open them. Just a few more seconds, okay?” I reassure her as I pinch the bridge of my nose. How was I going to do this? Small and quick? While less sacrificial for me, there’s always the possibility that I wouldn’t get all the information I needed. Big and long, and I risk traumatizing myself all over again.

“Okay… “ Well, here goes nothing.

I take a deep breath and lean in. Slow. Slow. Slow. My lips a fraction apart from hers. Long, quick, not so sure, but I go with my instincts. A quick peck and my lips brush hers. Oh god. Did she eat garlic or something?

“Wha-” and her lips part in surprise and I’m so not ready for this. Holy tongue. Tongue. I’m so raising my fee.

Oh my gosh, he kisses better than Jason and Paul! If I’d known what I’m missing than I totally wouldn’t have had sex with the bastards. Is it his age? Maybe experience? Looks?

More than I’d like to know and definitely enough to stop this. Now.

I wrench my lips from hers and wipe the back of my mouth with my hand. I’ll gurgle some mouthwash later, but for now it’d have to do.

Turning to Paul, who looking none too friendly has his hands balled into fists, I say, “Your girlfriend is cheating on you.” I straighten my shirt and brush off a stray lint from my pant leg. “With some guy named Jason.” His mouth drops open and he turns to her, outraged.

Jason?” He shouts. “My best friend?!

Ooh, that has got to hurt. “I know it must be hard and all and you probably feel like shouting, but let’s get the most important things settled now.” He turns to me with restrained fury. “Now concerning my fee…”

“WHAT?” I wince and try to annunciate my words a bit more slowly this time. “My fee.”

He raises his fists. “It’s a bit more than I’d thought it’d be…”

Advance in his steps towards me and he’s suddenly a lot more closer than I would’ve liked.

“You kiss my girlfriend, tell me she’s cheating on me, and you expect me to pay you more than what we agreed on?!”

I hesitate for a few seconds, unsure of how I was supposed to answer that. Truthfully? Because I sure as hell would say yes. But, on the other hand, my face is really content with it not having a fist shoved in it.

“Well…” I start slow, after all we have to ease these injured pride guys in, “if you look at it like that, then I guess it’s as ugly as you make it seem…”

“I can’t believe this!!” And he swung.

All I can say is that I knew it would hurt.

Oh and I’m definitely collecting my fee upfront from now on.




For being away from this blog for awhile, I’m double posting! Mainly to show that yes, I’m writing…



Posted on July 15, 2014, in My Writings, Short Stories and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. theMaliciousMuffin

    nicely done man, don’t know where the hell you get all these damn ideas from.

  2. And I thought *I* had ideas coming out of nowhere….
    but where in the hell did this come from?
    I like it!

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