Monthly Archives: July 2014
When going to the Dentists for a tooth extraction or something of the sort, make sure to ask for the anasthetic GEL prior to the needle.
Usually, they go straight away with the needle and that is just pure agony. Believe me, I know.
So make sure to ask for the gel. They will use it swab around the area and numb it so that WHEN they put in the needle, you don’t feel as much AKA you don’t hurt as bad.
That’s my helpful hint of the day.
BTW, I had a tooth extracted.
Super sad face.
However, I did not cry. There was a lot of clenching hands into fists and a lot of trembling, but I did not cry. Not one tear was spilled, guys. I am so freaking happy. Even as they yanked and shoved and had their hands all in my mouth, I held my pride. Thank God. Because while the stuff they give you numbs you from most of the pain, it only numbs a small section. You still feel them moving shit around..and when they start pulling…God..
When it was happening to me, I had a brief flashback to watching Saw 7 where that one guy had to pull out his own teeth.. that didn’t help me one bit.
But, anyways, I’ve been having a lazy day today. Eating nothing but liquids and watching BGT all day. Also, texting the lovely Wolfeh ^^ who has no idea how much she kept me from focusing on my aching jaw.
So thank you!
P.S. One of our cows died. We found it’s baby still sucking milk from it’s dead body. That was a level of sadness that I did not want to reach today. No, no.
Quite unexpectedly, college has ripped me a SECOND new one, with yours truly still haven’t technically started yet.
Wow. That’s really all I can say.
But, perhaps, I am partly to blame for this one. (Well….okay, mostly to blame…)
A bit ago, I had talked about my Math Placement tests and the struggle that was, however just today I’ve come to the conclusion that THAT was all for nothing.
I am going in to college for a Criminology major. In order to get that major I need ONE math class in which it has to be one of a certain handfull of maths. For certain maths, you need to take a placement test to be ABLE to take that class. So I did, already knowing that if I simply decided to take Quantitative Reasoning, I wouldn’t have to test since it doesn’t require any.
Why did I do this and blatantly ignore that one math class?
Because I figured I’d be stuck in such a simple class that it wouldn’t even be in the slightest bit challenging whatsoever. And I can’t deal with the thought of that because I already kmow the outcome: I’d be sleeping all year.
In more blunt terms, I’d be forking over $$$ to sleep.
That sounded stupid to me so I took my placement tests to get into something higher. And I do qualify for a bunch of higher classes (if I take it again, I can have even more options). So that’s good right?
Not exactly as I’m realizing.
The higher level classes that freshman can take are mostly INTRO classes. Intro to Calculus&Bus, Intro to Probability, Intro to etc etc.
Now why would I take an introductionary class when I am not going to be continuing math since I only need one? It doesn’t make much sense does it…
So that leaves me with *drumroll please*
A class that, after reading more thoroughly the packets that us Criminology B.S. majors were given, is more essential to us than calculus..
That stress of placement testing was all for naught AS I DIDN’T FREAKING NEED IT. WTF. I AM SO DUMB. GRRRRRRRRRRR.
So the ending result is that I am going to pay to sleep. But it’s whatever now, since I’m thinking about leaving math for this coming summer and filling the gap with another class that I can’t take in the summer.
Now why am I planning for summer 2015 classes already? Because like I said, I want to graduate a year early. My reasons for doing so will be a post all to itself sometime in the future. So that’s my plan so far.
And in case anyone’s curious as to my scheduled classes so far, here it is!
– Theater/Acting I: 3 credits (My art general requirement. Sure I could taking drawing shit but…I feel like this might be better for me and more beneficial for my career.. At the very least, I’ll be forced to improve speaking skills and whatnot.)
– IT: 3 credits (My IT general requirement. It was recommendes so why not.)
– Introduction to Criminal Justice : 3 credits (My first actual course towards my major!!)
– Elementary Japanese: 6 credits.
That’s right, I’m going to try to learn Japanese! I am so excited, despite the 6 credits blocking up a potential other class (12-18 credits allowed per semester, however while 15 is average, above it costs extra). I don’t even care that it’s like over a 2 hour class that I’l have three times a week. I am so happy!
Of course, my parents are like WTF, you are wasting money!!
Well, yeah I am. (B.S.’s don’t have language requirements so it’s not necessary at all) But I don’t mind. For me, it’s worth it. I’ll know three languages (being trilingual is a GOOD thing) and they’ll all be languages I actually like.
And….I’ll be able to read manga RAW. *extreme happy face* I’ll admit, I am not thinking logically here.
But I am happy. So there.
Alright, I think I got enough out of my system to kind of calmly type. (Yeah, right!)
WARNING. SPOILERS!!!! *also, this review is not as long as I would’ve liked it to be as I am typing it out on my phone STRAIGHT AFTER READING THE CHAPTER. That’s right, I pumped this out using only pure adrenaline and excitement to keep my thumbs tapping away. Btw, they hurt now. I’m hitting publish now.*
So Black Butler has just been updated and Chapter 95 is up and lemme tell you it was torture waiting for the full chapter to be downloaded to my phone. But soooo worrh it! Like OMFG. HOLY MOTHER OF COW.
I know, awhile back, I said I was going to review chapter 94, but stuff caught up and things happened so I never did. And doing that now would be pointless so I’m just going to sum up that chapter in case anyone needs it.
In my previous review Chapter 93 I had been discussing Ciel’s mental state and more importantly what John’s letter from the queen would say. Well, in chapter 93, while the contents of the letter are revealed to Sebastian (not us), the question I had posed concerning Ciel’s mental state was answered and fullfilled in Chapter 95 (this new chapter now).
Sebastian does get to eat Ciel’s soul. Well at least the chapter had ended with Sebastian throwing Finny out of the room (after having received and read the letter from the Queen) and attacking Ciel with the premise that because Ciel is apparently quitting his mission of revenge and thus is forfeiting his part of the contract, he is now able to consume Ciel’s soul, though it might not be as fulfilling as he would’ve wanted. At the end of last month, all of us fans were left with the emotional rollercoaster of the demon butler gobbling up his master.
Well…I wasn’t so much since I knew the manga could never end like that. Yana Toboso would never do something like that. So far she’s produced quality stuff and for her to go down in metaphorocal flames would be sooo disappointing.
But, anyways, that was the end of Chapter 94.
Now on to chapter 95 (as you can see the most anticipated chapter ever since the Sebastian being ‘dead’ one. Am I right or what?!)
Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler) Chapter 95
With art like this, is it any wonder that Yana is my absolute favorite mangaka? Also, every sense of evil and darkness is portrayed right here! None of that Sebastian cares and blah blah blah. In this instance, we see what he truly is. A hungry demon.
I love Sebastian, however I know he is not the ‘great guy’ here. I think more often than not, people seem to forget that Sebastian is a very hungry demon.
Yana reminds us here. He is not a fluffy character, but that’s what makes him so cool and so loved. Who doesn’t like a little darkness?
Following the title page, we are shown Ciel talking to himself. This is important in that we get to see Ciel’s inner battle as Sebastian is preparing to tear into him from the outside. We know Sebastian’s about to eat him, but even then Ciel is still at battle with himself. He needs an extra push.
Not only is showing how everything is from the inside of his mind a relief from the dark, dark colors and shades (too much black gets hard to enjoy in manga since they’re usually only in two colors : black & white), it also allows us to fully understand what has been driving Ciel forward all this time.
Oh we know it’s for revenge but it’s always been very vague on who the revenge is for. Is it for his parents? His fellow sufferers? His pride? His home? Who exactly is he seeking revenge for?
I’m sure at one point, we’ve all thought that he was trying to seek revenge for the murder of his parents. It makes sense doesn’t it?
The only son left behind wants vengeance on those who murdered his precious and loving parents. It’s the stereotypical plot.
But. Not in Ciel’s case.
Before going onto the next page, I’d like to note how perfectly every panel is drawn and how each contains the right images to fully convey the emotional train wreck Ciel is and how coyly Sebastian is cornering him into throwing everything in or abandoning everything out.
It’s either all or nothing. With nothing being, the loss of life.
Ahhh, here it is.
When it comes down to it – when we’ve truly picked away all the pieces away from the very core of Ciel’s motivation – we’re left with Human selfishness.
I personally think, Yana is sticking her middle finger out with this at everyone, reminding us that when you really get down to it, 99% of people will always look out for number one. Themselves.
Ciel is a symbol for all of Humanity. And that’s fine. Perhaps.
Look real carefully people. Watch as how Ciel transforms from the whimpering mess he was back to arrogant and bastard watchdog from before.
There’s nothing like being reminded about how truly selfish and pride driven you are to successfully snap ya out of your fear coma.
This reminds me of the moment in the Count of Monte Cristo (novel) where Edmond Dantes travels back to the prison he and Faria were locked in to be reminded of all the reasons why he was seeking revenge. After the death of Villefort’s son, the guilt was getting to him and he was so close to giving it all up. Yet, all it took was a bit of pain and anger and he was walking around with a clear conscience.
But that’s fine right? Whatever gets the job done.
Afterall, the end justifies the means.
I’ve heard that somewhere…
…Oh wait…I think Hitler used that logic..
Well, our young master is back and Sebastian is as smug as can be. Did he plan all that? Or was this all a happy accident?
Either way I see it, it would’ve been a win-win for Sebby.
A meal or waiting for an eventual even more delicious meal.
Oh wait…no…mood runied by foot!
Gah. Why does it always have to be feet? Though something could be said about the subservient symbol displayed here.
I laughed really hard at the top panel. Pure snarkiness and dark humour.
I think I’m going to say that from now on whenever someone asks me a question along those lines.
“No, no. I was only 90% serious.” Bevause obviously the other 10% makes all the difference in the world.
Anyways, after Ciel has come back to his senses we get light humour again, enough to get us to crack more than just a smile.
Notice, how light the panels are. Every tone and shade is very light instead of ths previous harsh and dark lines. This clearly indicates the mood Toboso wants us to feel.
Everything is good again. (Also, am I the only giggling like crazy at Sebastian “in agony”? Bahahahaha!)
But, all too soon we are returned to the blacker shades. Finally we get to see what’s in the letter!
Or at least part of it and boy does Ciel look pleased and excited. Albeit a very disturbing and sinister smile is on his face, but still it’s great seeing him smile again. I had been missing his usual cunning and disregard for other people plans.
And thus ends the chapter for this month.
Can I hear a “Hells YEAH!”
That witch girl had it coming, whatevee happens to her. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I really really really did not like her and I suppose we all suspected she was involved in the mess from the very beginning.
I know I’m looking forward to next month’s issue.
Who’s with me?!
Recently, I attended my college two-day orientation and while it was fun there were a few downers as well.
One being, finding out the exact cost of my semester after registering for classes. Let’s just leave it at “it was not pretty and my heart broke into tiny pieces after seeing the figures”.
And two being, that while I am certainly more prepared than others for the vigorous academic courses, I still was caught by surprise by a few things.
Like for example, the math placement tests.
I am very good at math. Really, really good. It’s one of the few subjects that I can actually be proud of.
Picture a cat that never gets it’s own toy due to other cats always coming first. Then picture him getting the ultimate, one of a kind, designed only for him rubber mouse toy. There’s no way he’s not flaunting that shit in the other cats’ faces. I am that cat. Who can blame me.
I’ve never had to study for math. In fact, most of the time I spent my time sleeping, playing on my phone, or writing on my laptop (doing other homework, usually English, for other classes) in the midst of all my classmates writing down the notes or doing assignments. I’ve only ever needed to see an equation done once. And BAM it’s locked into my mind. I, personally, think it’s very fair since when it comes to Biology (or any science for that matter) I look like a cat caught in a ball of yarn. Adorably idiotic. (What’s with cat metaphors?)
Seriously. Numbers make sense. How the lungs work and which muscles contract when we breath in or out do not. I swear I don’t even know how I passed my IB exam. I didn’t even really study since well, even with studying I was a goner. Thankfully those exams consisted of writing and more writing. I may not know what I’m talking about, but I sure as heck have the skills to sound like I know what I’m talking about.
But back to the math test thing.
I am very good at math.
However, I have ONE weakness in the subject. And that has ALWAYS been inequalities. Like the equations involving them. For some reason, the rules and such don’t like to stick in my head.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m FREAKING GREAT AT ALGEBRA. But, put this > in an equation and it’s like being in science class.
It’s not like I can never get them right, because I can. Give me awhile and a few tries or better yet show me how to do it ONCE and I’m FINE. For a month.
Come back to me a month later, show me the same problem, and it’s like you’re showing me something written in alien. It’s gone.
It’s like my brain immediately dumps that information out my ears as soon as it’s no longer necessary. Every freaking time! It’s usually something that’s reviewed at the beginning of each year and so I have to re-learn this everytime since it doesn’t want to stay in my head. This doesn’t happen with other math stuff, just inequalities. So usually, I’m fine since when does inequalities appear anywhere, right?
I took my IB Math exams and even then inequalities didn’t show up. I breezed through my exams and was soooo close to scoring a 7! A SEVEN PEOPLE. I all about danced through my derivatives.
No inequalities or a stupid number line. IN THE IB EXAMS.
So tell me why, the Alg 2 Math Placement Test consisted PURELY OF INEQUALITIES. There were about 3 questions that weren’t.
I got four correct. See how messed up that is?!
First off, I was slightly pissed that the moderators in the room didn’t tell EVERYONE that we were allowed to use calculators on the computers. For the basic algebra and algebra 1 test, I had been doing everything BY HAND on paper with a pen. Mind you, these tests were timed and I was cutting it real close each time.
Only when the person next to me had finished (you keep going till you fail a test), was I informed that I could use the computer calculator. I was very glum, but relieved after that.
And then going on to my next test, only a tiny bit happier at having a calculator, I discover that almost every question involves inequalities. I saw red. I know for a fact that Algebra 2 involved much more than inequalities so how could the test be solely that?!
I had passed my SOL two years ago with only about two questions short of a perfect score. (Guess what kind of questions they were.) And here I was, flunking my placement tests.
Screw you college, screw you.
And I had been so looking forward to the transcendentals test. But since I couldn’t get pass the ALG 2 exam, I was immediately exited from the testing screen and had to log out from the site.
So yeah, College has effectively ripped me a new one. And I haven’t even technically started yet.
Fortunately, I get a retry. And y’all better believe I am going in prepared to smack this inequality poop down!
Though I wouldn’t be surprised that when I come back, it’ll be something completely different and won’t involve inequalities. If that happens, I’m calling bullshit on these placement exams. ARGH.
Alright, I know that I’m pretty bad when it comes to the favorites thing, mostly because I never really wanna answer any of those questions and such. However, I do have some favorites when it comes to music and for some reason, I feel like sharing them at this very moment. Maybe it’s because my recent posts have been dark (cough cough) and I feel like I should lighten up my blog somehow or maybe because I just really want to push some of this stuff onto other people so that more people can be like me…
I’m content with either reason for doing this so I guess it doesn’t really matter what the motivation is as long as everyone enjoys, right?
Anyways, this is not known to you all (well, maybe ONE of you know), but I am a lover of musicals and plays and so my iPod is very much filled with soundtracks to a variety of plays. And while I love every one of them, there is one in particular that I TRULY LOVE AND IS MY FAVS OF ALL TIME.
And that is The Count of Monte Cristo musical*. But, let’s not get mixed up here. I want to clarify that I am obsessed with the musical written by Jack Murphy and music by Frank Wildhorn. Not the movie
So the soundtrack I’m in love with is NOT the one starring Ed Sheamur. (That’s apparently the popular one…I dunno why. It’s not nearly as good as the musical.)
I love the one starring Thomas Borchert. He is bloody fantastic and his voice (him being German and all) is one of the most passionate I’ve ever heard!
And while I could go on and on about how amazing the musical soundtrack is, I think it’s better to just show the awesomeness rather than just trying to describe it. So here it is, guys.
My absolute favorite songs from my absolute favorite musical (The numbers are the order in which they should be heard):
*I realize that more likely than not, majority of people who read this have probably not read the book by Alexandre Dumas (guy who wrote Three Musketeers) and so have no clue what The Count of Monte Cristo musical would even be about (and so likely won’t understand the songs at all)…so I’ve provided a link to the wikipedia page about the Book (I LOVE IT) and a wikipedia link to the musical since the musical is a bit different from the actual story in the book.
I am writing this letter in order to get some feelings off my chest. I hate you. There, I said it. Of course, I’m sure you’ve always known I hated you ever since that day and I’m sure that you might have noticed that prior to that day there had been a steadily increasing dislike in my feelings toward you. I didn’t really keep it a secret and I’m sure it was obvious from my face.
Perhaps, I might have liked you or at least tolerated you had things not gone the way they did, but I guess that’s pretty pointless now.
This letter is pointless as well (for you at least, since you’ll likely never read it), but for me it’s almost liberating. I’ve kept this pretty bottled up inside and it’s about time that I let it out. It’s supposed to be healthy right? Not keeping everything in, I mean.
So yeah. I hate you. I hate you so much that I’ve designated you as my pit person.
A girl in my class told me what that was a long time ago. And I can assure you that you are it, though if the situation ever does call for someone to be thrown into a pit, I really hope that for both our sakes, I do the right thing. I’m not a bad person, in fact, I’m pretty set on trying to be the best person I can be. I don’t like to see people hurt, but there’s just something about you that a part of me wishes I’d do something really mean and bad to you.
Like slash your tires for instance.
Or smashing your face into a brick wall.
Or crossing my fingers, wishing, whenever I think of your reckless driving. (By the way, that’s really dangerous you know. Of course, you never listened to me about it before so why bother changing that now?)
Or for instance, spreading all those ‘secrets’ you told me about.
Unfortunately, I can’t seem to do it.
Believe me, I’ve tried. I’ve tried VERY HARD to get my mouth talking, blabbing everything you ever said. I mean, after all, you have my share of secrets as much as I have yours and I’m pretty sure you haven’t wasted any time in spreading those. Fortunately, our senior class actually liked me so those haven’t come back to bite me in the ass at all.
But, like I said, I’ve really tried. And I almost have on numerous occasions under encouragement by several people but every time, I end up with a lame “I can’t. There’s a line, guys.” And you know what?
There really is a line. A small and thin line, but it’s there and while I can pretend to ignore it, I still know it’s there.
I don’t want to cross that line. Because if I do, then I’d be you. And I never ever want to be you.
And now thinking over that, I realize something really important.
More than hating you, I pity you.
To be so disliked by so many people (And trust me, there’s a lot of them, sadly.), that has to be depressing. More so with the knowledge that that’s never going to really change. Perhaps if you treated others better, you’d get treated better as well.
I get that you are the way you are because of all the shit that’s happened to you. Shit happens and I’m so sorry that it does, but trying to get other people to wallow in the same shit you have, that’s not right. At all.
I pity you a lot.
You know, before I invited you to hang out with me and my friend, I knew a lot about you. And of those things I knew, one thing should have prevented me from ever trying to be close to you. See, I knew about you and the person I had dated previously. Yeah I knew. But did I care? No, not really. I overlooked that and even to this day, I don’t hold any harsh feelings towards you over that. I think it was dumb, stupid, and a reflection of bad character, but I don’t hate you for that like most would.
See, I tried to be nice to you because I knew that people can be so cruel and sometimes people just need a chance to show that they can be good. However, you took that chance and stomped all over it.
I invited you in. I let my family invite you in. We cared, you know. When very little people gave a shit, we did.
But you had to screw it up. And I very much don’t give second chances when the screw up is that big.
Maybe, if it hadn’t involved family, then maybe I would forgive you. But it did. And for me, family aways comes first. Before anything.
Do you understand?
I’ve always felt like you didn’t since you never even attempted to apologize for what you did (not that I would’ve accepted it). I’m not that good at plainly explaining though, so you’ll have to pardon the way in which I do so. See, a long while before, my group was preparing a packet of our written works to send in to a competition. And at the time, I was still extremely overwhelmed by what had happened between us that almost instantly, I was inspired to tell our story. All three of us, I mean.
I stored that piece away, keeping it hidden from everyone save for a select few. Except now, I want to share it. Maybe one day, if you ever read this, you’ll finally get why I despise you so much and maybe you’ll realize the full extent of what you did. But, maybe you won’t. And that’s fine with me.
Of course, there’s no way I managed to fully implement our characters, motivations, and thoughts since I could only write from my point of view, but I think I did fairly well in trying to keep it as most un-biased as someone in my position could. Did it really win anything? Not really. I never expected it to. It was written in only a few hours and was far too emotionally driven that even a damn good polishing couldn’t have saved the piece from the disaster that it was. However, it accomplished what I set out to do.
More than anything, this story reflects the fear you caused within me. It is fiction, yes. The whole story is fiction, but it mimics our situation so well and displays clearly the fear you sprung into my heart.
That’s why I hate you. Because you have made this ending very possible.
I will stop you though. The difference between my story and I is that I can change the ending.
I still have time.
“What… what are you doing?”
“Just close your eyes and relax. Yes, like that. Both of them.”
With great reluctance the blonde finally settles in my arms and I quickly prepare myself once more to what was about to occur. Years of doing this and it never gets any easier. Except, of course, when my clients happen to be attractive. As this was not the case, it was a bit more difficult on my part to get motivated.
Money is great help when it comes to that.
“What are you going to do?”
“Don’t worry, just keep your eyes close. Don’t open them. Just a few more seconds, okay?” I reassure her as I pinch the bridge of my nose. How was I going to do this? Small and quick? While less sacrificial for me, there’s always the possibility that I wouldn’t get all the information I needed. Big and long, and I risk traumatizing myself all over again.
“Okay… “ Well, here goes nothing.
I take a deep breath and lean in. Slow. Slow. Slow. My lips a fraction apart from hers. Long, quick, not so sure, but I go with my instincts. A quick peck and my lips brush hers. Oh god. Did she eat garlic or something?
“Wha-” and her lips part in surprise and I’m so not ready for this. Holy tongue. Tongue. I’m so raising my fee.
Oh my gosh, he kisses better than Jason and Paul! If I’d known what I’m missing than I totally wouldn’t have had sex with the bastards. Is it his age? Maybe experience? Looks?
More than I’d like to know and definitely enough to stop this. Now.
I wrench my lips from hers and wipe the back of my mouth with my hand. I’ll gurgle some mouthwash later, but for now it’d have to do.
Turning to Paul, who looking none too friendly has his hands balled into fists, I say, “Your girlfriend is cheating on you.” I straighten my shirt and brush off a stray lint from my pant leg. “With some guy named Jason.” His mouth drops open and he turns to her, outraged.
“Jason?” He shouts. “My best friend?!”
Ooh, that has got to hurt. “I know it must be hard and all and you probably feel like shouting, but let’s get the most important things settled now.” He turns to me with restrained fury. “Now concerning my fee…”
“WHAT?” I wince and try to annunciate my words a bit more slowly this time. “My fee.”
He raises his fists. “It’s a bit more than I’d thought it’d be…”
Advance in his steps towards me and he’s suddenly a lot more closer than I would’ve liked.
“You kiss my girlfriend, tell me she’s cheating on me, and you expect me to pay you more than what we agreed on?!”
I hesitate for a few seconds, unsure of how I was supposed to answer that. Truthfully? Because I sure as hell would say yes. But, on the other hand, my face is really content with it not having a fist shoved in it.
“Well…” I start slow, after all we have to ease these injured pride guys in, “if you look at it like that, then I guess it’s as ugly as you make it seem…”
“I can’t believe this!!” And he swung.
All I can say is that I knew it would hurt.
Oh and I’m definitely collecting my fee upfront from now on.
For being away from this blog for awhile, I’m double posting! Mainly to show that yes, I’m writing…