I Am Not Too Pleased
As of this very moment, there is a slow burning anger inside of me. It began with the tiniest of things this morning and slowly faded in and out all day, until it hit a high note and then I got home and I’m now stewing in anger like one of the villains who plan revenge alone and in a dark room, conspiring and plotting, which ultimately leads to a tragic ending – usually the villain’s.
Which come to think of it… does not sound pleasant but it’s whatever at the moment.
But I am the villain – I think. Because I do recognize that what I’m not too happy about is kind of really dumb and probably not important to anyone else but me. Still, I’m going to complain about it, regardless of how selfish and childish I’m about to sound.
So this morning, I go to grab my daily cans of Dr. Pepper in order so that I can drink them in my morning classes. (Cans as they’re usually done far before noon. Like halfway through 2nd block or as in the case of today – 3rd block. I need more than one) So I open the cabinet and reach for one when I notice that there were definitely fewer cans than the day before. I usually count my cans (I know, I know) but I was careless this week as I leave tomorrow ad figured there’d be no way I’d finish through all of them (or that someone would actually take one during the week), so I did not keep track of my supply.
I was a tad unsure, but the Dr. Pepper senses were tingling. That was enough to put me in on the defensive for the morning. Someone had taken on and my mind was hissing at me all morning, wondering who did it and what possessed them to do so. Everyone knows those are mine. No one else drinks Dr. Pepper but me. ME. My SODA. MINE. MINE. Plus no one else likes it! NO ONE. They all think it tastes like medicine and is nasty. So WHO would take it. And the WHY? Obviously to screw with me, since they wouldn’t enjoy drinking it.
We also have all sorts of types of sodas there. It’s not like my Dr. Pepper was the only soda in the house. Pepsi, Coke, Fanta, etc etc etc. We also have Kool-Aid, Capri-suns, Hugs, Welsh’s Concord Grape Juice, Coconut Juice, Apple Juice, and Yoo-Hoos. See my issue???? WE HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS! SO MANY FREAKING CHOICES. See that??? Out of all the drinks they could’ve chosen, why did it have to be my soda? That’s just being a very ugly troll. Very.
The reason why we have so many drinks (and that’s not all that we have, those are just some) is that we are a family that can get really possessive of some things. It’s a bad trait I know. For example: the grape juice, grape Kool-Aid, and grape Fanta all belong to my brother (can you tell what his favorite flavor is?) while the coconut juice is exclusively my parents, my mother and I share the Yoo-Hoos, and finally the Dr. Pepper and Blue Kool-Aid is mine. Everything else is usually fair game, though we tend to lean towards a particular flavor/color of drinks.
For this reason I was maddish, but since I had to get to school pretty quickly I couldn’t afford to spend much time on that. Instead, I only grabbed one can and a Kool-Aid and left. I had to keep the rest for tomorrow, since I’m going to be binge drinking like crazy. Seriously, I’ll be opening can one after the other on the way to the airport and in the airport and if the plane has those complimentary drinks thing, I’ll binge on that. Why? Because my mother isn’t going to be with me and so I can’t be stopped. I can’t be tamed, I can’t be blamed, whatever the hell goes next…
So I go to school and more little things began pissing me off. For example, the knowledge that I have my IB English exam and my IB Economics exam on the same day for two days in a row seriously put me in a bad mood. But that’s life, so I sucked it up. In fact, I usually would have just laughed, cheekily say I’m fucked to the classmate next to me, and completely shrug it off. But the icky feeling from my stolen Dr. Pepper kept me from doing that.
Next, came English where we had our frozen vignettes to do. In case anyone doesn’t know what that is, it’s where your group stands in a line and preforms a short piece of script/dialogue/etc (from memory and all that jazz). The thing with a frozen vignette is that all the people, except the ‘character’ who’s speaking, have to remain frozen and can only move around when it’s their turn to speak. When you finish talking, you freeze in whatever position you’re in.
I had mine memorized. I did. I seriously did. Up until our group went up, I had it completely memorized inside and out. Dramatically, Emotionally, Passionately, I was ready to wow my classmates. And then.
When it came my turn, I froze and my mind went blank.
I had written some key bulletpoint prompts on my hand (just in case though I thought I’d never need them) so I disgracefully had to use those. I struggled through my whole part. Like a baby trying to walk. It was bad. Very bad. Fortunately for the rest of my group presentation, we were fine. In fact, one of our members was absolutely fantastic! I was sooooo happy for her. On the other hand, I was mad at myself. So pissed off that I messed up. Not big time, but still a mess up all the same.
Then my next and final class.
Where upon entering, I noticed one detail. A detail that made me see and feel white hot, piercing anger.
A classmate who is friends with my brother and who I don’t really like, but still regard them in a civil manner ‘cos I try really hard to not be too immature, though it’s very hard, (I will eventually get around to why I don’t like this person, on here) was holding a can of Dr. Pepper in her hands.
I only needed one-tenth of a second to get that.
I was livid. Oooooh I was so FREAKING MAD.
I’m getting even madder just trying to type this all out. My own brother takes one of my cans of Dr. Pepper and brings it in for someone whom he knows I am not fond of. WHY???? Because he’s obsessed with her. (I’ll get into that later, too). THAT’S JUST…Just…no.
I wasn’t going to make a scene though. That’s just stupid. And would totally make me look like the ghetto girls in our school who always fight and are always screaming “that’s sooooo rachetttttt!!!” Nuh uh. Not me.
So I forced myself to calm down. Which I managed to do thanks to my lovely and amazing Ash, who is going to read this and text me as soon as she does ^^.
Unfortunately, school’s ended and she’s not here to keep me from thinking dark, inhumane thoughts. Grrr.
I think I’ll go take a nap or watch tv. I need to cool down. AGAIN.