Out of Spite
Spite: a desire to hurt, annoy, or offend someone.
A lot of the things I do and most of the mistakes I’ve made and am going to make are done out of spite.
I guess I’m just a spiteful person.
I get delight from accomplishing things despite being told not to or that I couldn’t do. I recieve enjoyment from annoying other individuals but at the same time I don’t actively seek to hurt others..intentionally. I dont want to offend, I prefer to annoy, and yet if someone does get offended in the process, rarely am I bothered.
Maybe it’s because I’m wired a different way or maybe it’s because of the way I grew up. More so, I believe its just the way I am.
Do I want to change?
That’s a very hard question to answer. I love the person I am, every bit and piece of me. I love me. And I’d rather not change any part of me. But, at the same time I recognize that being spiteful is not a great quality to contribute and help society, as well as it can a cause a decrease in the quantity of friends I have.
So now if I do choose to change, which would it be for?
Would I change me because it’s what everyone prefers and wants?
Or would I change because I want to be nice to those around me?
“Do I contradict myself? Very well,
then, I contradict myself; I am
large — I contain multitudes.”
― Walt Whitman
“You’re always you, and that don’t
change, and you’re always
changing, and there’s nothing you
can do about it.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Graveyard Book
Yeah… I’ll start by taking the spite level down a little.